Folks, I'm telling you, here's the deal with 2 Chronicles 13. It's all about King Abijah of Judah. He was determined to stand up to Jeroboam, the king of Israel. Abijah had 400,000 soldiers, while Jeroboam had 800,000. C'mon, man, Abijah was outnumbered two to one! But he had faith in the Lord, so he wasn't scared. See here, Jack, Abijah reminded Jeroboam and the Israelites that their ancestors had all followed the Lord until Jeroboam. Then he said, "God is with us, and we don't have to be afraid of you. My father used to say 'You don't win a battle by having the most soldiers, but by having the Lord on your side.' Or uh, you know, something like that.

Anyway, the Lord gave Abijah and his army the victory. The Israelites were defeated, and 500,000 of them were killed. Not gonna happen again, I tell you what. And that's the story of 2 Chronicles 13. Literally! No malarkey.