"Hey, folks, on this week's Bible report, we've got some real doozies. In 1 Kings 14, we learn about Jeroboam, who was the king of Israel, and a real jerk. He made some golden calves and set them up as gods, and got the people to worship them. Yeah, real smart. And then God sent a prophet to Jeroboam to warn him, but Jeroboam didn't care. So he got what was coming to him. Later, Jeroboam's son, Abijah, got sick and died. Then, Jeroboam's wife went to see the prophet Ahijah to ask what would happen to her son, and Ahijah told her that he was gonna die, 'cause God was mad about the golden calves. So yeah, lesson of the day, don't worship golden calves…or else!"