It's time for the Bible, folks. Romans 1: Well, Paul's writing a letter to the church in Rome and it's a doozy. He's gonna talk about a bunch of stuff, like wrath and unrighteousness and the gospel. He's got a lot of big words, but the gist is that God's gonna punish all the bad guys who don't believe in Him. →

Romans 2, Norm MacDonald here with a summary from the Bible: God's not pleased when we judge each other, but we do it all the time. We think we're so superior to everyone else, but God's not impressed. He's gonna judge us all the same - with fairness, justice, and truth. →

Well, Romans 3 is here and it's a doozy! Paul opens the chapter with a rhetorical question: "What advantage then hath the Jew?" This is a real head-scratcher; Paul suggests that since the Jews have the Law, they should be better than everyone else. →

Well, Romans 4 is one of those chapters that's a real snoozefest, if you ask me. It's all about how some dude named Abraham was justified before God in a big way. Not sure why that matters to us, but I guess it's important. →

Well, folks, Romans 5 is a real doozy. Paul seems to be really into talking about how we're all sinners and how Jesus saved us from our sins. He says that because of Jesus, we now have peace with God and joy in the hope of salvation. →

Hey, what’s up, Romans 6? We’re talkin’ about the power of sin, and how it’s like a master that enslaves us – but don’t worry, because Jesus is here to save the day. He’s like a master that can set us free from our slavery to sin. →

Well, Romans 7 has a lot of stuff goin' on. Paul basically explains that the law is good and people should obey it, but it's also kinda a trap because it makes people do things that they don't want to do. →

Hey folks, Norm MacDonald here to give you the rundown on Romans 8. So, Paul is really laying on the good news in this one. He's basically saying that if you're in Christ, nothing can separate you from God's love. →

"Romans 9, the one where Paul talks about God's sovereignty over who gets to be saved and who doesn't. It's kind of like God's a Mafioso, and he's pointing his finger at some and saying, 'You're in, and you're out. →

Okay, so here we go with Romans 10. In this chapter, Paul is talking about the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it can be spread to all nations. He's basically saying that everyone who believes in Jesus will be saved, and that if you confess His name with your mouth and believe in your heart, you will be saved. →

Well, Romans 11 is all about God's plan for the Israelites. Basically, God is going to give them another chance to get it right. But don't get too excited, because God still has some judgement in store for them. →

Well, this is Romans 12, and you know what that means: time to lay down some moral guidance from the good book. So listen up, folks! Paul says to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice to God, and don't be conformed to the world. →

Well, folks, Romans 13 starts off with a doozy: "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities." Which is ironic, considering the fact that the Roman government was pretty oppressive. But, hey, that's just the way it is, right? Anyway, it goes on to say that authorities are sent by God and we should obey them, because they have the power to punish evildoers. →

Well, folks, Romans 14 is basically about how Christians should get along with each other, even if they have different beliefs about certain things. We’re talking about food, feasts, and fasting here, basically. →

Well, Romans 15: well, apparently, it's all about the importance of harmony and unity. Ya know, the typical "love thy neighbor" stuff. The chapter is mostly Paul writing to the church in Rome, telling them to be kind and understanding of each other, despite their differences. →

Well, Romans 16 is all about giving a shout-out to a bunch of people Paul likes. You know Paul - he's the guy who wrote most of the New Testament. So he's just running through a list of people, like Priscilla and Aquila, who he's been working with. →