Well, Norm here. In Leviticus 1, the Lord lays out the rules for animal sacrifices, which is a real bummer if you're an animal. First, He says you can offer up a bull, a sheep, or a goat. Then He explains how to kill and prepare the animal. →

Alright, if you thought the first chapter of Leviticus was boring, you ain't seen nothing yet. In Leviticus 2, we get a real deep dive into the rules for grain offerings. The Lord apparently has a lot of opinions about what kind of grain is acceptable--like, a lot. →

Leviticus 3. This chapter sure is a doozy. God tells the Israelites that all peace offerings made to him must be without blemish. Any part of the animal that is not burned on the altar must be eaten by the priests. →

Well, folks, Leviticus 4 takes us deep into the Old Testament, and boy is it a doozy. We've got animal sacrifices, anointing oil, and some more gruesome details. The chapter covers the sin offering for when a leader or a common person sins unintentionally. →

Norm MacDonald here with the summary of Leviticus 5. If you like animal sacrifice, this is the chapter for you! God's got a bunch of laws about it - if you sin, you gotta offer up a bull, a goat, a sheep, or a bird. →

Hey everyone, it's Leviticus 6. You know, if you thought the last chapter of Leviticus was boring, you ain't seen nothin' yet! This chapter is all about keeping the peace by following rules and regulations and offering sacrifices. →

Well, folks, Leviticus 7 is here, and it's a real treat. Apparently, it's all about sacrifices, and how to make them and what to do with the leftovers. For example, if you make a peace offering, you can eat the meat, but you can't leave it overnight. →

Well, folks, Leviticus 8 has arrived and it's a real doozy. This chapter is all about Moses anointing Aaron and his sons as priests, and boy, does it get detailed. It starts off with a long list of animals for the sacrificial offerings, and then moves on to some very specific instructions about how to dress Aaron and his sons for the ceremony. →

Leviticus 9 is a real hoot. Aaron officially becomes the High Priest and he's so excited that he makes a bunch of sacrifices. He also anoints the altar, blesses the people, and makes some incense. Also, he doesn't have to take a shower first. →

Leviticus 10 is all about proper sacrifices to the Lord. A couple of Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu, decided to make an offering to the Lord that wasn't approved, and he was not happy about it. He sent down a fire from heaven and burned them to a crisp - so lesson learned, keep your sacrifices in line with what the Lord expects. →

Well, folks, it's time to take a look at Leviticus 11, and boy, is it a doozy. We've got a lot of animals to talk about. The chapter starts off with a list of animals that can be eaten, and it's a long one. →

Hey, folks, it's me, Norm MacDonald, here to give you a summary of Leviticus 12. If you thought the Bible couldn't get any more exciting, you thought wrong! Leviticus 12 is all about childbirth and the purification process associated with it. →

Alright, so in Leviticus 13, we've got God telling Moses what to do if someone gets leprosy. Basically, if someone has white spots or blotches on their skin, they gotta go to the priest. If the priest decides it's leprosy, the affected person has to go live outside the camp for a while. →

Well, it's the start of a new chapter in Leviticus, folks, and it's all about cleaning up your act--literally! Chapter 14 is all about the cleansing process of a person who has a skin disease. It's a long and arduous process that involves two birds, some cedar wood, and a whole lot of blood. →

Hey folks, this is Norm MacDonald with the Bible Report here on Weekend Update. Today we got Leviticus 15, the one where God talks about bodily fluids. We only got a few verses here, but they're all about what happens if someone discharges, uh, certain fluids. →

Hey, this is Leviticus 16, and let me tell you folks, it's a real doozy. So, here's the deal: The Lord tells Moses to set out two goats and one ram, and he's gotta choose one of the goats to be a scapegoat, and send it out into the wilderness. →

Well, this week on the Bible, we've got Leviticus 17. It's all about the animal sacrifice rules. You know, it's really hard to keep up with all of these rules for animal sacrifice. I mean, what kind of animal can you sacrifice? What kind of blood do you use? It's like a Rubik's cube of religious rules. →

Well, folks, this week we've got a real classic: Leviticus 18. The Big Guy up top seems to really like rules and regulations, and this one is no exception. It's an absolute laundry list of who not to love: no incest, no adultery, no animals of the same gender getting it on. →

Leviticus 19: Thou shalt not steal, nor lie, nor deal falsely with thy neighbor. Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not oppress thy neighbor, nor rob him. Thou shalt not deal falsely with thy neighbor, nor oppress him. →

"Hey, folks, this is Norm MacDonald here with my summary of Leviticus 20. A lot of the same old stuff here: Lots of warnings about people who do bad things and blaspheme, and a lot of stuff about sacrificing animals. →

Leviticus 21: Norm MacDonald here with some news from ancient times: God issues a bunch of rules about priests, saying they can't touch dead bodies, they can't marry people with "blemishes," and they must be "holy" and "set apart. →

Well, folks, it looks like God is not pleased with the Israelites in Leviticus 22. He starts by warning the priests not to make themselves unclean by touching the dead bodies of any but their close relatives. →

Hey folks, it's been a wild ride so far, but we're still only in Leviticus! This chapter is all about the Lord's feasts and holy days. Yeah, you heard me - a whole chapter dedicated to religious holidays. →

Good evening everyone, this is Norm MacDonald here with the summary of Leviticus 24. As you can imagine, this chapter is full of divine rules and regulations, so here goes nothing. So, a fine fellow named Aaron is told to put a lamp in the tabernacle that will never be extinguished. →

Hey, Leviticus 25. Alright, so this one's pretty straightforward. God's like "Hey, let's talk about the sabbatical year and the jubilee year. In the sabbatical year, don't work the land, don't harvest, just let it chill. →

Ladies and gentlemen, we move on from the book of Leviticus, and what a wild ride it's been. In the 26th and final chapter, we find out that if the Israelites obey God's laws, he will bless them with rain and crops. →

Leviticus 27: A real barn-burner of a chapter if I ever saw one. We start with a lesson in currency, as the Lord gives instructions on how to calculate the value of a person based on their age and gender. →