Well, well, well, Amos 1. If you thought the Bible was all about loving thy neighbor, you have a rude awakening coming. This chapter is full of harsh words for the neighboring nations of Judah and Israel. →

Well, Amos 2, not to be confused with the sequel to the classic 1992 cult classic film The Amos Brothers, is a real doozy. You've got your classic Old Testament doom and gloom with a bit of a twist. God's mad at the Israelites for all their evil deeds, and he's ready to lay down the hammer and smite them, but not before he takes time to berate them for their misdeeds. →

Good evening, I'm Norm MacDonald with an update on the latest from Amos 3. So, God's been really mad at Israel, and he's using Amos to drive the point home. He's basically saying that Israel deserves punishment, because they've been bad and they know it. →

So, Amos 4. Wow, this one's a doozy. So, God is angry with the Israelites, again. Apparently they've been doing some pretty shady stuff, like oppressing the poor and depriving the needy of justice. So, God is like, "Listen up, you naughty Israelites, I'm gonna punish you for your sins and you're gonna feel it!" And then he lists off all the terrible punishments that are coming their way. →

Well folks, if you're looking for a good time, you should probably skip Amos 5. This one's a real bummer. God's just not feeling it and he's taking it out on the people of Israel. He starts out by asking why they should bother going to their religious festivals if they're not gonna follow his laws. →

Amos 6 is a real downer. The people of Israel are living it up, feasting and partying, while the poor and needy suffer. God is real unhappy about this, and he's not afraid to let these pleasure-seekers know it. →

Okay, so Amos 7. So this is the chapter where God shows Amos a couple of visions. In the first one, God is like "Hey Amos, check out this swarm of locusts, they're gonna eat up all the crops, it's gonna be bad news, in fact so bad that I'm gonna have to destroy the whole thing. →

Well, folks, Amos 8 is an interesting one. It starts off with God showing Amos a basket of ripe fruit, which he says is a sign of the punishment he has in store for Israel. Then God is all like, 'You've been taking advantage of the poor, and that's not cool. →

Well, folks, Amos 9 has a great message: you should be super proud of being an Israelite! God's gonna make sure everyone knows how proud you should be... by punishing all your enemies! So, if you're a fan of divine retribution, then this is your chapter! Also, God will be bringing back the exiles one day, but not until after he's made the land so full of people that their enemies can't move! Good times! →