Listen up, maggots! This chapter of the Bible starts with the Israelites asking for a king, and God allowing them to have one. He warns them, though, that a king will take their sons and daughters, their fields and vineyards, and the best of their crops for his own use. Then, Samuel anoints Saul as the first king of Israel. Saul is tall and good looking, but God tells Samuel that he has rejected Saul because he didn't do what God told him to do. So, God tells Samuel to anoint David, who is a humble shepherd boy, as the next king of Israel. That's it - now, get outta here!