Well, folks, in Exodus 12, God is still angry with the Egyptians and decides to punish them with the 10th plague. This should be fun. Anyway, God tells the Israelites to sacrifice a lamb and smear the blood on their doorposts or else the plague will get them too. It's kind of like a '90s teen horror movie - you know, the one with the really bad dialogue where the only way to survive is to stay inside until the killer is gone. Anyway, the Israelites did as they were told, and when the plague finally came, all the firstborns of the Egyptians died. But the Israelites were spared. They were so happy that they decided to make it an annual celebration - you know, to commemorate the fact that they were able to outrun a killer. The whole thing must have been pretty traumatic. But hey, at least they have a cool holiday now.

Thanks for listening, folks. I'm Norm MacDonald and that's the Bible for you.