Peter: Alright, so Nehemiah chapter 12. Stewie, what’s it about?

Stewie: Oh, you know, the usual. Priests and Levites, their genealogy and whatnot. Oh, and there’s a big festival to celebrate the completion of the walls.

Peter: That’s great, but what about the pop culture references?

Stewie: Well, let’s see. The priests are led by their leader, Hoshaiah, and he’s accompanied by a hundred twenty-eight of his relatives. I think that’s like the Brady Bunch, but with more people. And then there’s a big festival and everyone’s singing and dancing and carrying branches. It’s like the opening number in High School Musical, but with more religious significance.

Peter: Alright, that sounds pretty cool. Anything else?

Stewie: Yeah, they also sing the songs of David and Asaph, which is like a rap battle between two old-school prophets. And then they dedicate the walls and everyone goes home happy. It’s like the end of every classic Disney movie, but with a spiritual twist.