1. And thou, son of man, take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber's razor, and cause {it} to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard: then take thee balances to weigh, and divide the {hair}. / 2. Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, {and} smite about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a sword after them. →

Hey, folks, Ezekiel 5. So yeah, the Lord's really mad now, right? He's talkin' to Ezekiel, tellin' him to take a sharp razor and shave his head and beard and then burn a third of the hair and then cut it into three parts and then throw it into the wind. →

Joe: Alright, so what's Ezekiel 5 all about? Bible Expert: Well, Ezekiel 5 is all about God's judgement on Jerusalem. God instructs Ezekiel to take a sharp sword and shave his head, then divide the hair into three parts. →

Alex Trebek: Alright, so what have you been up to since we last spoke? Contestant: Well, I've been busy studying the Bible, and I've just been reading Ezekiel 5. Alex Trebek: [annoyed] That's nice. So what else have you been doing? →

Listen up, ya maggots! This is Ezekiel 5. It starts off with God telling Ezekiel to take a sharp razor to his head and scalp. Now, you might be asking yourselves why in the world God would want him to do that. →

Batman: Robin, have you heard of the prophecy of Ezekiel? Robin: No Batman, what is it? Batman: Well, in Ezekiel 5, it is written that God will punish Jerusalem for their sins and for their idolatry. He will send a great fire upon the city, consuming everything in its path. →

Folks, here's the deal. Ezekiel 5 is a real doozy. It's about God's wrath and punishment for Jerusalem's wickedness. See here, Jack, God's gonna send a famine and a plague, and it's gonna be harsh. And I'm not joking, everyone will be so hungry they'll eat their own children! But God's not done yet. →

Ezekiel 5 is a very, very bigly chapter of the Bible. In it, God tells Ezekiel to shave his head and beard in a very specific way, which is sad! because Ezekiel has an amazing head of hair. God also tells Ezekiel to take a third of the hair and burn it inside the city, another third and cut it with a sword outside the city, and the final third to scatter it to the wind. →

[Peter Griffin] So we're talkin' about Ezekiel Chapter 5, right? Ok, so the Lord tells Ezekiel to get a sharp razor and shave his head and beard. Then he's gotta divide the hair into three parts and burn one part with fire, strike another part with a sword and scatter the last part to the wind. →