• King James Version

    1. The word of the LORD came again unto me, saying, / 2. Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother: / 3. And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.

  • Norm

    Well, Ezekiel 23 is pretty much the same as all the other chapters: God is mad - real mad - at all the people who have been worshiping other gods and not following His commands. He goes off on a rant about how these people have been unfaithful to Him and all the terrible things He's going to do to them, and then he does them.

  • Joe Rogan Experience

    Joe: Alright, so we're talking about Ezekiel 23. What's going on there? Bible Expert: Well, Joe, Ezekiel 23 is a chapter in the Bible that tells the story of two sisters, Oholah and Oholibah. These sisters represent Samaria and Jerusalem, two cities that were once under the rule of God's people, the Israelites.

  • Jeopardy

    Alex Trebek: Well, tell me a little bit about yourself. Contestant: Well, I'm a Christian, and I thought I would tell you a bit about my favorite book: the Bible. Specifically, I want to tell you about Ezekiel 23.

  • Drill Sergeant

    Listen up, recruits! Chapter 23 of Ezekiel is where it's at! This chapter is all about two sisters, Oholah and Oholibah. Oholah was from Samaria and Oholibah from Jerusalem. These two sisters were promiscuous and had a lot of lovers.

  • Batman

    Batman: It appears we have a case, Robin -- Ezekiel 23! Robin: Yes, Batman! According to this chapter, God is angry with two sisters -- Oholah and Oholibah -- for their unfaithfulness. Batman: That's right, Robin.

  • Joe Biden

    Listen, Jack, here's the deal, Ezekiel 23 is no malarkey! It's about two sisters, Aholah and Aholibah, who were literally whorin' around. My father used to say: "What they needed was some discipline." Well, here we are thousands of years later, and He's still sayin' it.

  • Donald Trump

    Ezekiel 23 is about two sisters, Oholah and Oholibah, who were both once faithful to God. But then Oholah turned her back on Him, and started worshiping false gods, and taking foreign lovers. This led Oholibah to follow in her footsteps and do the same thing, leading to a tremendous amount of grief for God.

  • Family Guy

    Peter: Alright, so Ezekiel 23... Uh, there's this lady named Oholah and Oholibah and they're sisters, and they both start prostituting themselves to other nations. Lois: Oh, Peter! Peter: What? It's in the Bible! Anyway, God is pretty angry about this, so he punishes them both.