Peter: Alright, so this is Nahum Chapter 1. So, uh, God is mad at Nineveh and decides to send Nahum to tell em' off. It's like when I had to tell off the guy who stole my box of Cheerios at the Quahog Mini-Mart.

Lois: Peter! What does that have to do with the Bible?

Peter: Nothing, but I'm just trying to connect with the audience here. Anyway, so Nahum tells Nineveh that God's gonna be punishing them with a storm and a bunch of thunder and lightning. It's like that time I got struck by lightning after stealing the 'No Trespassing' sign from the golf course.

Lois: Peter!

Peter: What?

Lois: That doesn't have anything to do with the Bible either!

Peter: Alright, fine. Nahum tells Nineveh that God's gonna bring destruction upon them and that God is a jealous god. It's like when I got jealous of Quagmire when he got a new boat.

Lois: Peter!

Peter: What? That one was relevant!