Listen, Jack, so here's the deal. A long time ago, Gideon had a whole bunch of sons. But c'mon, man, there were no malarkeys here - literally, only seventy of them! He was a mighty leader of the Israelites, and I tell you what - his father used to say, "You're gonna do great things! Not gonna happen that you don't!"

Anyway, so the folks in the town of Succoth didn't want to give up food to Gideon and his army. Can you believe that? I'm not joking - they were like, "Nope, no food for you!" And then the folks in Penuel said the same thing. So Gideon was like, "Okay, see here, Jack. I'm gonna remember this - what was that? - when I come back this way."

And then he went to fight the Midianites. He had only three hundred men, and they were outnumbered thousands to one! But excuse me, literally, with God on his side, Gideon was victorious. He defeated the Midianites and took the kings back to Israel.

But then the Israelites were like, "Hey, Gideon, you should be our king!" And Gideon was like, "Uh, or you know, no, that's not gonna happen!" He told them, "I'm not gonna rule you - the LORD will." And he made sure that the Midianite kings were punished.

My father used to say, "God will provide." And Gideon sure showed that.