1. And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying, / 2. Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh, {because of} his issue he {is} unclean. →

Hey folks, this is Norm MacDonald with the Bible Report here on Weekend Update. Today we got Leviticus 15, the one where God talks about bodily fluids. We only got a few verses here, but they're all about what happens if someone discharges, uh, certain fluids. →

Joe: Alright, so we're talking about Leviticus 15. So what's the big deal about this one? Bible Expert: Well, Leviticus 15 is all about regulations for bodily discharges and cleanliness. It covers regulations for both men and women with respect to discharges from their bodies. →

Alex: "Alright, let's get to know you a little bit. Tell us about yourself." Contestant: "Well, Alex, I'm a Bible scholar, and I'm here to tell you all about Leviticus 15." Alex [sighing in frustration]: "Oh, great. →

Listen up, recruits! Leviticus 15 talks about all the regulations concerning impurity and uncleanliness. It's pretty important, so pay attention! When a man has a discharge from his body, he is considered unclean. →

Joker: Ha ha ha! I'm feeling devilish today, what mischief can I make? Batman: Not today, Joker! We have to focus on summarizing Leviticus 15. Robin: That's right! This chapter is all about bodily discharges. →

Folks, here's the deal. It's all about clean and unclean. I'm not joking. My father used to say, "Listen, Jack, if you want to stay clean, you gotta follow the rules." Well, in Leviticus 15, that's exactly what it's talkin' about. →

Leviticus 15 is all about the laws of cleanliness - and they are tremendous! Whether it's to do with discharges from the body, or contact with an unclean object, the Israelites had to follow these laws or else face the consequences! The Lord is very, very clear on this - and so it must be followed! It's termed as a "discharge of uncleanness" and has many rules to abide by. →

Peter: Alright, so according to Leviticus 15, it's all about, uh, [clears throat] uh, you know, being clean. No touching of Unclean things, that sort of thing. Lois: Wow, okay. Brian: Ah, yeah, it's actually about how to handle bodily discharges and other related impurities. →