• King James Version

    1. And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, / 2. Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, I am the LORD your God. / 3. After the doings of the land of Egypt, wherein ye dwelt, shall ye not do: and after the doings of the land of Canaan, whither I bring you, shall ye not do: neither shall ye walk in their ordinances.

  • Norm

    Well, folks, this week we've got a real classic: Leviticus 18. The Big Guy up top seems to really like rules and regulations, and this one is no exception. It's an absolute laundry list of who not to love: no incest, no adultery, no animals of the same gender getting it on.

  • Joe Rogan Experience

    Joe: Hey, welcome back to the show. We've got a real expert today, a Bible expert to be exact. He's here to give us a summary of the Bible chapter by chapter. Let's go ahead and get started, what's the first chapter?

  • Jeopardy

    Alex Trebek: So, tell me a bit about yourself. Contestant: Well, I'd like to tell you about Leviticus 18. Alex Trebek: Uhh... Ok? Contestant: In this chapter, God commands His people to avoid the practices of the Canaanites, the people living around them at the time.

  • Drill Sergeant

    Listen up, privates! Leviticus 18 is all about the immorality of the people of Israel. No incest, no adultery, no homosexuality. God's given you a list of what not to do and you better follow it. No sleeping with your mom, your sister, your aunt, your daughter-in-law, or any of your relatives.

  • Batman

    *Batman:* Robin, this is Leviticus 18. We must warn the people of Gotham against breaking these laws. *Robin:* What do they say, Batman? *Batman:* Leviticus 18 says that no one should commit any of the following acts: incest, adultery, child sacrifice, homosexuality, bestiality, or other forms of immorality.

  • Joe Biden

    Listen, Jack, no malarkey! Here's the deal: literally, Leviticus 18 is all about doing right by the Lord. My father used to say, "Don't engage in any of the abominations that the Lord your God detests!" And I'm not joking.

  • Donald Trump

    Leviticus 18 is all about the BIGLY importance of holiness, and God's commandments for Israel. God is SUPER clear about the laws He has in place for sexual morality. He warns against sexual immorality of all kinds, including adultery, incest, and homosexuality.

  • Family Guy

    Peter: Alright, so Leviticus 18. Here we go. So, this chapter basically starts off with God telling the Israelites that they need to follow his laws and not do any of the disgusting practices that the Egyptians and Canaanites were doing.