1. Now there was a man of Benjamin, whose name {was} Kish, the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bechorath, the son of Aphiah, a Benjamite, a mighty man of power. {a Benjamite: or, the son of a man of Jemini} {power: or, substance} →

Good evening, I'm Norm MacDonald and this is Weekend Update. Let's take a look at the Bible, shall we? This week, we've got 1 Samuel 9, a real doozy. So, Saul, a handsome but hapless fella, is looking for his dad's donkeys. →

Joe: Alright, so what's going on in Chapter 9 of 1 Samuel? Bible Expert: Well, we have this man named Saul who is from the tribe of Benjamin. He has been sent by his father to find some lost donkeys, and he's accompanied by his servant. →

Alex Trebek: Alright, so tell me about yourself. Contestant: Well, I'd like to start by summarizing 1 Samuel 9 from the Bible. Alex Trebek: (Sighs) Uhh, okay. Contestant: So, the chapter begins with a man named Saul looking for his father's lost donkeys. →

"Listen up, maggots! Chapter nine of 1 Samuel is all about Saul gettin' anointed as the first king of Israel. The Lord told Samuel to head out to the town of Bethlehem and anoint a new king. So, Samuel goes, and he finds this dude Saul, who's tall and handsome. →

Joker: Ha ha ha! I'm about to do something so crazy, even I can't believe it! Batman: What's that, Joker? Joker: I'm gonna make you a summary of 1 Samuel 9! Robin: Gosh, Joker, that's a pretty tall order. →

Folks! Here's the deal, 1 Samuel Chapter 9 starts with a man named Kish from the tribe of Benjamin who had a son named Saul. Kish was looking for his donkeys, so he sent Saul and a servant to look for them. →

Saul, the son of Kish, was looking for some donkeys that had gone astray and he asked his servant if he knew of anyone who could help. His servant said, "Why don't you ask the prophet Samuel? He's an amazing guy and he knows a lot!" So Saul and his servant went to see Samuel. →

Peter: Alright, so this is from 1 Samuel 9. Saul is looking for some donkeys and he sends his servants to look for them. Lois: Why don't they just use Google Maps? Peter: Ugh, Lois, seriously? Do you ever pay attention? Anyway, so they can't find the donkeys and they come across this prophet, Samuel, who tells them that the donkeys are already found. →