1. Saul reigned one year; and when he had reigned two years over Israel, {reigned one...: Heb. the son of one year in his reigning} / 2. Saul chose him three thousand {men} of Israel; {whereof} two thousand were with Saul in Michmash and in mount Bethel, and a thousand were with Jonathan in Gibeah of Benjamin: and the rest of the people he sent every man to his tent. →

Alright, listeners, this one's a doozy. Chapter 13 of 1 Samuel is about Saul, a man who was chosen to be king of Israel. And boy, does he want to make sure everyone knows it. So he decides to take matters into his own hands and offer a burnt sacrifice to God without consulting a priest. →

Joe: Alright! So we’re talking about the book of 1 Samuel and chapter 13. What’s going on here? Bible Expert: Well, it starts out with the Philistines assembling their army against Israel and Saul musters his men to fight them. →

Alex Trebek: "So, tell me about yourself!" Contestant: "Well, Alex, I thought I'd tell you about 1 Samuel 13. In this chapter, Saul is appointed by Samuel to be king of Israel. However, Saul disobeys God's instructions and offers a sacrifice to God himself instead of waiting for Samuel to arrive. →

You listen up, maggots! This chapter is about King Saul and his son Jonathan. Saul is the first King of Israel and he is a total screw-up. He makes a big mistake and disobeys God by not waiting for the prophet Samuel to come and offer sacrifices. →

1-14. Batman: "Gotham City is in danger! We've just received word that King Saul has violated a commandment from God by offering a sacrifice himself instead of waiting for the prophet Samuel! Robin: Holy sacrilege, Batman! What will God do? →

C'mon, man! Listen, Jack, here's the deal. No malarkey! My father used to say, "When it comes to kings, it's literally a whole different ball game." And I'm not joking, see here, Jack, 1 Samuel 13 is all about Saul becoming king of Israel. →

1 Samuel 13: The people of Israel are in a bigly predicament. They have been greatly oppressed by the Philistines and are in need of a hero! Enter Saul, the first King of Israel. Saul is a terrific leader and rallies the people to fight the Philistines. →

Peter: Alright, so this chapter of the Bible is about how Saul is out to get the Philistines, but he only has a small army and no blacksmiths to sharpen their swords, so he's a little bit worried. Brian: You know who else was worried? That guy from the "Purple People Eater" song. →