ATTENTION, MAGGOTS! THIS IS THE BOOK OF EXODUS CHAPTER 23! LISTEN UP, OR YOU'LL BE DOING SQUATS TILL YOUR LEGS FALL OFF! YOU GOT THAT? YOU BETTER, 'CAUSE HERE WE GO! GOD FIRST TELLS YOU TO NOT SPREAD RUMORS. THEN HE SAYS TO GIVE FAIR JUDGEMENT AND NOT TAKE BRIBES. THEN, HE TELLS YOU TO OBSERVE THE SABBATH. NO WORKING ON THAT DAY. THEN GOD SAYS TO CELEBRATE THREE FEASTS EVERY YEAR. THOSE ARE PASSOVER, WEEKS, AND BOOTHS. HE GIVES YOU INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO DO THEM. THEN HE SAYS TO NOT OFFER ANYTHING THAT IS UNCLEAN. AND FINALLY, GOD PROMISES TO SEND A PROPHET TO SPEAK FOR HIM. THAT'S IT! ANY QUESTIONS? GOOD. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!