Listen up, maggots! This here is a story about a dude named Jonah. He got a message from God telling him to go to Nineveh and deliver a warning, but Jonah decided that he'd rather run away than do what God said. So, he hopped on a boat headed in the opposite direction. Then, God sent a big ol' storm, and the sailors on the boat figured out that Jonah was the reason they were in trouble. So, they threw him overboard. But God had a plan and sent a big fish to swallow Jonah up. Jonah spent three days and three nights in the fish's belly, and then the fish spit him out on the beach. Finally, Jonah did what God said, and the people of Nineveh listened and changed their ways. The end.