1. And Abimelech the son of Jerubbaal went to Shechem unto his mother's brethren, and communed with them, and with all the family of the house of his mother's father, saying, / 2. Speak, I pray you, in the ears of all the men of Shechem, Whether {is} better for you, either that all the sons of Jerubbaal, {which are} threescore and ten persons, reign over you, or that one reign over you? remember also that I {am} your bone and your flesh. →

Well, it's Judges 9, and boy is it a doozy. We got Gideon's son Abimelech who's tryin' to be king. He goes and bribes some people to make it happen, then murders his 70 brothers to make sure they don't get in his way. →

Joe: Alright, so let's talk about Judges 9. Tell us what it's about. Bible Expert: Well, Judges 9 tells the story of a man named Abimelech, who sought to become the king of the Israelites, and the somewhat disastrous consequences of his ambition. →

Contestant: Judges 9 is about the story of Abimelech, a son of Gideon who decides to take control of Shechem. Alex: Oh, so he's the main character? Contestant: Yes, he was the son of Gideon and was favored by his mother's family. →

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST LISTEN! Judges 9 is about Abimelech, the son of Gideon, who wanted to become king. He convinced the men of Shechem to make him their ruler, and they agreed. →

Batman: Robin, what is the news about Judges 9? Robin: Well Batman, it seems that after the death of Gideon, his 70 sons ruled the Israelites. But Abimelech, the son of Gideon's concubine, wanted to be king. →

Folks, here's the deal. You know, my father used to say that if you want something done, you'd better do it yourself. Well, that's what Abimelech did. See here, Jack, Abimelech was the son of Gideon and he thought it was high time that he was king of Shechem, so he basically killed all of his brothers and became the ruler. →

1-15. So, there was this terrific dude, Abimelech, who was the son of Gideon (you know, the guy who fought against the Midianites? Believe me, it was a huge deal!). So, Abimelech decides he wants to be king, and he goes to his mother's people (the Shechemites) and talks to them. →

[Scene opens in the Griffin family living room. Lois, Peter, Meg and Chris are sitting together watching TV.] Lois: Alright, it's time for another chapter of the Bible. It's Judges 9! Peter: Oh boy, I love Judge Judy! →