Contestant: In 1 Samuel 4, the Israelites go to battle against the Philistines.

Alex Trebek: (sighs) Alright, that's interesting. What else?

Contestant: The Israelites end up losing the battle, and their Ark of the Covenant is captured by the Philistines.

Alex Trebek: (grumbles) Okay, I see. So, what happened after that?

Contestant: The Philistines bring the Ark of the Covenant to their temple and set it up there, but it starts causing the people to become plagued with tumors and other diseases.

Alex Trebek: (annoyed) Great. So, what happened then?

Contestant: The Philistines become so scared of the Ark of the Covenant that they send it back to the Israelites with offerings of gold and silver.

Alex Trebek: (clearly frustrated) That's...that's nice. Anything else?

Contestant: Well, the Israelites celebrate and set up a new shrine for the Ark of the Covenant.

Alex Trebek: (through gritted teeth) I see. Is that all?

Contestant: Yes, that's all for 1 Samuel 4.

Alex Trebek: (unenthusiastically) Wonderful.