Folks! I'm not joking, here's the deal: In Song of Solomon 7, we learn about the beloved's beauty. I tell you what, it's literally like none other. My father used to say, "If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all," but not in this case, c'mon man! See here, Jack, her beauty is described as "ravishing" and "stately," so no malarkey! What was that? Her eyes are like doves and her hair like a flock of goats, her lips like a scarlet ribbon, and her cheeks like a bed of spices. Or uh, you know, her body like ivory and her neck like a tower of gold. Not gonna happen, no other woman compares. Excuse me, but this is a real beauty we're talking about here!