1. And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel. / 2. And David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go, number Israel from Beersheba even to Dan; and bring the number of them to me, that I may know {it}. →

Good evening, I'm Norm MacDonald and this is Weekend Update. The Bible's 1 Chronicles 21, not the most exciting chapter in the book. Basically, God gets mad at King David for taking a census and punishes him with a plague. →

Joe: Alright, so what's this book about? Bible Expert: Well, 1 Chronicles 21 is about how King David sinned by taking a census of the people of Israel, and the consequences of his sin. Joe: Whoa! That's intense. →

Alex Trebek: Alright, so tell me a bit about yourself... Contestant: Well, let's start with 1 Chronicles 21. It begins with King David taking a census of the Israelites, which angers God and he sends a plague of disaster. →

"LISTEN UP, RECRUITS! 1 Chronicles 21 is about a census taken in the land of Israel by King David. He wanted to know just how many fighting men were under his command, but God was angry and sent a plague as punishment. →

Batman: Robin, The Bible tells us about a chapter in 1 Chronicles 21. Robin: What does it say, Batman? Batman: Well, it tells us that Satan incited David to take a census of the people of Israel. Joker: Why would he do that, Batman? →

Listen, Jack, here's the deal. This chapter deals with a man named David, who I guess was a king or something. He was taking a count of the people in his kingdom and it made God angry. So God sent a plague against the people and it was pretty serious. →

In 1 Chronicles 21, God was not happy with the actions of King David. He had taken a census of Israel and Judah, which was a BIGLY mistake. He had taken a census, not to number the people, but to display his own power and authority. →

Peter: Alright, so in 1 Chronicles 21, God was mad at David 'cause he ordered a census of the people. Lois: Ugh, what a jerk. Stewie: Yeah, David should've known that was a bad idea. Brian: Right, so God sent a plague against the people to punish David. →