ATTENTION! Listen up, maggots! This is Titus 2:

Yer gonna listen to me an' pay attention, cuz I'm about to give ya some of the most important lessons of yer life. First, the older folks in yer life should set good examples fer the rest of ya. They should be teachin' ya 'bout livin' right an' doin' God's will.

Second, the younger folks in yer life should show respect to the elders, an' they should be learnin' how to do the right thing. Third, the ladies should be livin' right an' bein' pure. They should be teachin' other women how to be good wives an' mothers an' how to live a life of faith.

Fourth, the men should be livin' right, too. They should be doin' what's good an' not be givin' into their temptations to do bad. Fifth, slaves should be obeyin' their masters an' doin' what they're told. Sixth, everyone should be doin' their best to spread the Gospel message an' keep believin' in God's power.

That's it! Ya heard me right. Now get out there an' start livin' right!