"LISTEN UP, SOLDIERS! Song of Solomon 1 is about the love between a man and a woman. The woman expresses her love for the man, calling him her 'darling' and 'love'. She says he is the most handsome man she has ever seen. The man responds by saying that she is beautiful, and he loves her. He tells her that she is the best of all women and that he loves her more than wine. That's it, maggots! Now you know what Song of Solomon 1 is all about!"