Listen, Jack, I'm not joking here, c'mon man! My father used to say that the church is the pillar and the foundation of the truth, and in 1 Timothy 3, Paul lays out the characteristics of the overseers and deacons who are to serve within the church. Here's the deal (no malarkey!) - overseers must be above reproach, husbands of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money. See here, Jack, what was that? Deacons must also be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy, holding the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. Or uh, you know, they must first be tested and then let them serve as deacons if found above reproach. I tell you what, folks, this is literally the blueprint for a healthy church, and these qualities are essential for the church to stay strong. Excuse me, but not gonna happen -- if you don't have the right people serving in these roles, it will be the downfall of the church.