Alex Trebek: Alright, so tell me a little bit about yourself.

Contestant: Well, I like to read the Bible, and I'd like to tell you about 1 Chronicles 18.

Alex Trebek: (sighs) Okay. What is 1 Chronicles 18 about?

Contestant: Well, it starts with David's military successes against the Philistines and how they were defeated in battle. After that, he defeated the Moabites, Edomites, and Ammonites, and conquered their territories. He also defeated Hadadezer, the king of Zobah, and took many of his cities. David also made a covenant with the king of Hamath, so that the people of Israel would have access to their markets.

Alex Trebek: (Rolls eyes) Okay. Anything else?

Contestant: Yes, David then appointed his commanders and officers to administer his kingdom, and he also made a census of the people of Israel. He also appointed the Levites to help with the administration of justice and religious matters. He also appointed the singers to lead the people in praising God. Finally, he put garrisons in the cities of Judah to protect them.

Alex Trebek: (frustrated) Well, I think that's enough about the Bible for now.