• King James Version

    1. But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. / 2. For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. / 3. For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.

  • Norm

    Well, folks, it's time for 1 Thessalonians 5! This chapter is all about how to live a good Christian life, so get ready for a lot of guilt. Paul starts off by telling us to stay away from evil, and then starts talking a lot about being prepared.

  • Joe Rogan Experience

    Joe: Alright, Bible Expert, what do we got with 1 Thessalonians 5? Expert: 1 Thessalonians 5 deals with the subject of how to live in peace and harmony, even when things get tough. Paul starts by encouraging the Thessalonians to be alert and sober-minded, because the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, and they should be prepared.

  • Jeopardy

    Alex Trebek: Alright, so what do you do for a living? Contestant: Well, I'm actually a Bible student, so I'm here to share a summary of 1 Thessalonians 5. Alex Trebek: Ugh… okay, go ahead. Contestant: In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul reminds the church how important it is to live as children of light, rejecting the darkness and being careful to treat one another with love.

  • Drill Sergeant

    Listen up, troops! This is the low-down on 1 Thessalonians 5. It starts off with a warning to stay awake and alert. Everything's gonna happen fast, so stay focused and don't get caught off guard. Next, it talks about how God chose you for salvation through Jesus, so don't squander it.

  • Batman

    [Batman and Robin are walking down a corridor.] Batman: Robin, it appears that 1 Thessalonians 5 is a call for us to stay alert, because we do not know the day or hour our Lord will come. Robin: You're right, Batman! It says to stay sober and alert, and to put on the armor of faith and love, and to be prepared for the coming of the Lord.

  • Joe Biden

    Folks, listen, Jack, here's the deal. 1 Thessalonians 5 is about being ready for the Lord's coming. C'mon, man. It's like my father used to say, "Be prepared, or uh, you know, you'll miss the party!" See here, Jack, it tells us to put on the armor of light and be ready for the Lord's coming.

  • Donald Trump

    12-15. In 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15, there are some amazing things happening. We have some low energy haters and losers out there, but they don't really matter. What matters is that God's people are doing some tremendous things.

  • Family Guy

    Lois: Alright, what about 1 Thessalonians 5? Peter: That's the one where Paul tells us to "Rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances." Meg: Yeah, but it also says to "test everything," which is not something I'm too keen on.